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Annie is so upset.
A man she really likes invited her out last Saturday night, but since Annie had friends in town, she turned him down. The man hasn’t called back.
Annie feels anxious.
She calls. She texts. She emails.
And nothing. He doesn’t respond.
“Should I have canceled my friends to see him?” Annie cried. “I hate to break my commitments. Why couldn’t he have waited until Sunday? What do I do now?”
Annie is a busy professional woman with a hectic schedule. This is not he first time her calendar has been too full to accept a date.
This is also not the first time Annie’s been frustrated because a man didn’t do it her way.
Annie doesn’t realize she’s making a BIG MISTAKE.
Annie doesn’t realize a real man will NEVER do it her way. Never. Ever. Ever.
And why should he? If he did it her way (called when she asked him to, was available for her schedule, etc…) Annie wouldn’t want him. Seriously.
She would not respect him.
Do you expect your date or your husband to do it your way? If so, how’s it working for you?
What I know is this: When I expect my husband to do it my way, we usually end up in a fight.
Or when/if he does do it my way, I may be happy for the moment, but afterward, I roll my eyes.
“Umph,” I think. “Why do I have to tell you to do this? Why didn’t you just know and do it yourself? Umph. Grow up.”
Those are your choices by the way:
Fight or become his “Mama.”
Of course he’s thinking, “Why doesn’t she just shut up and let me do it my way? Doesn’t she think I’m capable?”
Ladies, when you expect him to do it your way, you loose the opportunity of seeing how he does things. You loose the opportunity of relaxing while he does the work. You loose the opportunity of getting to know him…especially if you’re too busy when he’s available.
His way will never be like yours, but his way can be interesting. You may roll your eyes. You may have to leave the room (especially if you can’t help yourself from directing.) You may not agree with his way wholeheartedly.
But give him permission to do things his way…as long as it doesn’t hurt your body or break the law…details like that.
Here’s the big secret: Most of the time my husband does things my way (fortunately he likes to please me.) But he does it in a way where he honestly thinks it’s his idea. (Yes you read that right.)
Men like to win. Men like to feel respected and appreciated. Real men enjoy giving ideas and invitations to women who are available to them. It’s an art when you know how to guide a man into pleasing you without directing him to do it your way.
Here’s the reward: You can work easier. You can enjoy more. You can feel better knowing he’s taking care of it (even if you know you’re smarter, faster and can save more money.)
Try it. See how it feels. You may just like it.